My previous post elicited some excellent response and after being challenged at what I said, want to go deeper.

Before I start, however, I must say I am undeniably grateful to have such amazing people reading and responding to my posts. The fact my writing resonates with people and gets them thinking tells me it’s serving its purpose.

First to provide some clarity.

The first three (almost four) decades of my life have not been a complete waste. I did some pretty incredible things, met some amazing people and did my best to enjoy the time I had.

After all, it was during that time I was a professional magician who stepped foot into the Magic Castle, hid an exchange student from Dubai whose parents threatened his life for coming out as gay, traveled across Canada by van, rebuilt homes in New Orleans and saw Carly Rae Jepsen open for Hanson (of all the things on the list, people find the last one the hardest to believe).

So where’s the waste?

It was the emotional waste of investing so much of my time caring what others think. Yes, I did some awesome things, but my concern for their approval prevented me from really blazing my own trail. It stifled me from taking bigger risks when the consequences weren’t so damaging.

Yes, I still take many risks now, but they must be very calculated as there are people who depend on me to keep a roof over their head.

I don’t see all of this as someone living with regret. Far from it.

The feeling of having spent so much time caring about others has strengthened me going forward. This is me building a new foundation for the next thirty years of my life with a much broader perspective. Well, narrow focus within a broad perspective.

Next, not caring what others think isn’t a carte blanche statement to be a jerkface jerk.

I still aim to be a person with integrity, authenticity and transparency.

It’s just that some people won’t like what they meet and we may never find cordial grounds to meet each other on. I’ll still try to see the best in every person I meet and meet them where they’re at, but not get caught up in seeking their approval.

As my wise mentor once told me, and it only took me eight years to understand the lesson, you cannot have a conversation with a person unless you know who they are and they know who you are. You have to be one hundred percent of who you are to even begin interacting with the world.

So here’s to the next thirty years!

Maybe by then, I’ll have really learned a thing or two about life.