But it doesn’t always turn out that way.

There’s an illusion, a façade, I’ve put up for myself over the years that I’m a halfway decent person. Better than some, but still a long way from others.

And while I’d like to think I did my best, taking a long, hard look at myself proves otherwise.

I’ve failed.

Many times.

And I’ve spent many years looking back at those times and cringing at how poorly I’ve acted… reacted… thought… wondering how anybody would still wish to speak or associate with me.

But, I’m not beating myself up over it.

The very idea that I cringe at my past shows growth in the present. It means I can reflect enough to know where I’ve faltered and where I need to improve.

It gives me hope that the more honest I am, the further I dig and the deeper I go, the better I’ll be.

It paves the way for the future where I might one day be a decent human being.

I’m not there, but I’m on my way.