Originally posted on my Facebook wall:

This year has been a tough one in many respects, but teaching has been the highest on the list.

My colleagues know this year’s batch has been incredibly challenging and it’s even taken me to the point where I’ve honestly felt like quitting.
I never thought I’d hit that point.
I’ve had to change my teaching style several times over, making mistakes (still making them), failing, trying again and doing whatever I can to reach my students. It’s felt like running up a sand hill with ice underneath and I know I haven’t been the best teacher I can to my students as a result.

I’ve had to constantly remind myself that all I can do is plant seeds and hope to God they grow into something more down the road. I always have the best hope for all my students (regardless of how much they drive me up the wall).

Just when I was ready to burnout and call it a day, a student of mine (anonymously) just sent in this nomination for our board’s BeOCSB project:

“This teacher is certainly the best teacher I’ve ever had and has changed who I am for the better. He strives to make the learning environment a safe and positive place, and makes
learning, well, really fun. He doesn’t ever give up on anyone and always puts in his best effort with all of his students to teach them.”

I have a tear in my eye as I read this because it gives me enough fire to keep going and it really feels like it’s coming out of left field.

I still have a lot to learn (really, are we ever done learning?), but let this be a reminder we don’t always get to see the fruits of our efforts.

To all my educator friends – keep going because there’s at least one student in all your classes who are thinking this about you, even if they don’t share it.

I posted that during the day immediately after receiving the nomination and want to extend my thinking on it further.

I’m not looking to be recognized as the best educator. Instead, I want my students to receive the best education they can while in my class.

Besides, there’s no such thing as the best—just people’s subjective opinion on the matter. Ask any bestselling writer and they’ll tell you the legions of people who hate their work despite the millions who love it.

You also can’t be everything for everyone.

Every person has their limits.

Where I was burning out was in thinking I hit the bottom of my educational toolbox without my students learning a thing. Perhaps I wasn’t an effective educator and maybe the classroom isn’t where I should be.

Normally, I can self-reflect, evaluate, pivot and move on but I’m constantly plagued by self-doubt and having a tough year (in many regards) was exasperating the problem.

This came at a time I needed it most, especially since I wasn’t expecting it.

It validates I need to be where I am and that I should continue to push even further.

To whomever took the time out of their long weekend to submit this nomination:

Thank you.