For whatever reason, Frederich Nietzsche has come into the timeline of my life again (having made a very brief appearance in my early twenties) and his work is sinking in.

Part of me feels I wasn’t ready for most of the thinkers I came across when I did—treating them as nothing more than intellectual fodder rather than a relationship of wisdom through my own life experience. And there’s something about his work that’s striking me now.

Specifically, the idea that we should have a love of our fate (amor fati). If we had to live our lives again, in the exact same way, with the exact same decisions and outcomes, how would we react?

How would we handle it all?

I think back to how I’ve handled life so far and the times I’ve handled things best are the times where I just let go.

When I tried too hard to have control, or felt overwhelmed, it was only when I could accept letting go that I made peace.

It was when I reminded myself about a bigger story that I could be free.

To push further, to enjoy more, to love deeply.

For years, I lamented the decisions of my younger self, spending hours in my head considering alternate timelines that could have been. But none of that is helpful, useful, or even remotely indicative of what could have been. It’s nothing more than daydreams of wish fulfillment.

Everything I could have and could want is here with me right now.

What greater joy can I find than that?

Maybe I really will learn to have a love of my own fate.