There was a tradition in my family gatherings.

Whenever you engaged in discussion, it didn’t matter what point you were making just as long as you were the loudest person making that point. If you could dominate the conversation by speaking over everyone, you win the discussion.

Speaking in calm, rational tones was only reserved for special occasions when you were willing to admit you may not have the best idea. As you can imagine, those moments were rare.

There was something endearing about it because it was expected, but it was nothing more than an exercise in frustration. 

As we move towards a more digital means of communication where voices are democratized, it appears the rules of my family gatherings have taken precedence for conversations. However, the frustration is now that the level-headed people are leaving conversations because they can’t deal with the noise. 

All that’s left are people yelling at each other hoping to get the last word.

I find increasingly this social parlay is now bleeding into every day interactions. We no longer wait for a person to finish speaking or be available and feel our sense of self-importance overrides all others as long as we’re willing to interrupt.

The loudest people are the ones dominating the conversations. Not because they’re making the best points, but simply because they’re the loudest.

However, the loudest ones are usually on the fringes and not in the middle where the majority of the conversation is happening. Perhaps this social dynamic is shifting to one where the person who yells the loudest is the one who gets ignored the most.

Or better yet, the one who gets shut down.

Then, we can hear some real voices from people who have real things to say.