It would make sense to combine this section with the jealousy one and tackle the two subjects together. They seem like a perfect pair, but in this instance, I am referring to being compared as a shadow of another person. What do I mean?
Being the child of a parent and having people place expectations on you because you’re their child.
Being compared to a sibling who has achieved incredible milestones.
Being compared to a friend, cousin, relative, mentor, teacher or another great person in your field.
No one, it seems, wants to evaluate you on your own terms. As humans, we need points of comparison and stepping stones, otherwise we’re lost. Building a foundation from nothing has never been a strong suit for most of us. It’s even in the way we do our advertizing:
“Product A achieves 60% better results than Product B! Product A is awesome and Product B can be chucked into your nearest incinerator.”
Let’s not even get started on the ads run during political campaigns as everyone claims to be a Messiah to deliver them from the spawn of Satan who is running against them.
This section hits close to home for me and if there’s anything I could say to the subject, it’s this:
You are NOT the shadow of another person.
Even if we are the ones who put ourselves into the shadow of someone else, we are still not their shadow. We truly are our own person and that can take some time to let that sink in.
It’s not bad to be motivated by the accomplishments of another. It may even be the reason we strived for certain dreams, but the more you try to be a replica – the more disappointed you will become. We simply were not born in the time, place or circumstances of another. Our motivations are different and that’s already something that separates us.
We have to learn to let go and become our own person. Then, we will discover the best comparison we can make is to ourselves. Compare where you are now with where you were a few years ago. Whatever you feel is missing, work at it for the next few years. Keep going until you feel complete.
You will never feel the need to compare yourself to another and neither will anybody else.
You are you and not anybody else. Do things as you would.