“Did you go full ‘Vito’ on them?”
Against my better judgment, or maybe on the fine outskirts of it, I showed my philosophy class this video about imagining the tenth dimension. Many of my students broke down.
One got up and had a full on existential crisis, yelling at me that nothing matters anymore.
It’s a delicate procedure to crack a mind, especially when you tear down a worldview like time doesn’t exist and free will is an illusion. It’s stuff that’s kept me occupied for decades, which is why my wife asked if I went “full Vito” instead of treading carefully. However, I’ve come to understand the beauty of a universe that’s already decided.
It’s remarkably hard to articulate to myself, so please feel free to disregard if you find it difficult to follow along…
or if you think it’s full of shit.
Believe me, I’m not attached to my ideas and don’t take offence to those who have issue with them. We’re all broken people navigating unknown landscapes and nobody really has it all figured out.
Without venturing too far into the arguments, let’s run with the assumption that the entire universe is deterministc—everything can be predicted and will happen regardless. Therefore, your entire life has already been decided and the decisions you think you’re making aren’t really yours to make, at all.
If that’s the case, rather than break down over it and throw my hands up in defeat, what if I assumed that at some point, it all works out? What if I can look at the end of my own timeline and smile knowing what’s there? What would I find?
As someone who is incredibly hard on himself, and has never really learned to love who he is, I’d like to think there’s a point where I truly do love everything about who I am; faults and all. So if it happens, then it must’ve started at some point. And why not make that point right now?
At the cost of sounding like someone spouting nonsensical theories like manifesting reality or law of attraction, there’s something we’re all moving towards in our own lives. Something deeper than material possessions as those are simply the by-products of the internal state of mind.
But really, what if it all works out?
What if I end up being exactly where I need to be? How would I look at each day now? How would I look upon all the events that’s been?
I feel like it would be really exciting to move towards it because then it would feel like all of life is pushing me, instead of dragging me down. This way of thinking about it has transformed what could be perceived as a dreadful thought about a deterministic universe into a powerful one. Because regardless if my choices are really mine, it’s good to know I can go where I need to be.