This is the “last week” of school.

Normally it’s met with the excitement of young people unable to control their jitters as they countdown the seconds until the summer is theirs to claim.

Attendance is down, everyone is tapped out and we’re all just holding our breath until the final bell.

My school has a particular tradition where teachers stand outside the doors of the school and wave goodbye to all the students as they leave. It’s a way of saying thank you for being in our care and we really did have your best interests at heart.

This year will have none of that.

The world was flipped upside down and while it’s good to have a sigh of relief the marking is done, I am saddened by it. I feel shortchanged we all left in March with some semblance of hope of returning, only to be informed the year will be finished at home.

Understanding the health reasons/risks for this decision, my mind still gravitates toward the unfinished loops.

I think about all the students who were finally coming on board with their reading and writing and the ones who were falling off the bandwagon–academically and socially.

I think about the opportunities missed for them to show me their perfection in some way, shape or form.

I think about the missed opportunity to say goodbye not only to them, but to my colleagues as I prepare to transfer schools next year.

Our minds naturally want to gravitate towards the negative and I know this, yet I still slip there.

In an effort to combat my own psychology, I created a new notebook of all the positive outcomes this year has brought. I looked at their work, their reflections and the accomplishments of the year.

I beam with pride at my students who started the year as fake readers, only to discover there are books out there that interest them and they know profess to be bookworms.

It brings me joy to see them work through complex mathematical problems without my guiding hand.

Then the emails poured in.

So many students offering their thanks for being a great teacher to them…

and while I’ve been humbled many times in my life (almost daily by my spouse), these got to me. I still don’t feel like I have this teaching craft down yet to a level where I’m comfortable, and there’s still so much for me to learn, yet something went right for them this year.

It’s validating that I’m onto something and I need to keep trusting my instincts. Despite the cascading effect of articles and professional development resources claiming, “You need to do this!”–I’m doing me and it’s working.

The funny part is me “doing me” is just focusing on them: What do they need?

In reflecting on the year, something tells me students are going to need more than usual come the fall.

I hope to be ready.