Tomorrow is my birthday. If you’re getting my updates by email, then it’s today.
Last time I did any sort of reflection on my age was when I hit 30. I realized the previous five years flew by and wanted to pay attention to the next five in hopes it would move slower.
Nope – the last five years flew by even faster… which is hard to believe considering I celebrated the birth of my first child and those early days seemed to last forever.
I still have a tremendous amount to learn in life, but the last thirty five years have given me some pretty valuable lessons. In a rare occurrence, I’m making a list post.
- Ten years is not a long time – The idea of thinking ten years ahead isn’t so ridiculous because the time goes by much faster than you anticipate. If you’re planning, do it for the long term.
- Some people stay and some go – Some people come into your life for a season and some will always be there. You can’t always tell which will happen, so appreciate each person as they come your way.
- You can do anything, but you can’t do everything – At one point, I wanted to be an avid reader/professional magician/writer/speaker/teacher/chess player/bassist/programmer. Some of those are now passing interests, or in the background and I’m fine with that.
- Take small steps towards change – Slow, steady progress trumps flash in the pan tactics every time.
- Index Funds – They’re the most boring investment, but they do so well in the long run.
- Your parents were right about you – they truly know you better than you think they do.
- Parenting is hard – but absolutely rewarding after you come out of the fog of the sleepless nights.
- Happiness is not on the other side of the fence – if the grass is greener there, start watering your own grass.
- Fulfillment comes with honesty – only when you are 100% truthful about who you are, will you begin to find fulfillment in your own life.
- Overnight success isn’t a thing – thinking there are shortcuts in life will only result in disappointment.
- Ignore the comment sections as much as possible – unless people are posting informed opinions… which usually isn’t the case.
- Ignore the naysayers – “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” -Dita Von Teese
- Being healthy is worth the effort – there’s a world of difference when you eat healthy and exercise versus eating junk food and being stationary.
- Time is more valuable than money – money you can lose and get back.
- You can’t find God – the quest for developing your spiritual self doesn’t start with finding anything. It was always there. To quote Charlamagne tha God – “God was never lost, you were.”
- Be willing to forgive yourself – there were times when I went to bed, unable to sleep over something I said or did in high school. Seems ridiculous to dwell on it twenty years later.
- Relationships take work – a lot of it involves letting go of your own ego.
- Chicken wings are always a good idea – never once have I felt chicken wings was a bad idea for a meal… or snack.
- Don’t take life too seriously – it has its moments, but the universe is over thirteen billion years old. Your time here is the briefest of flashes, so appreciate it while you can.
- Your workplace can survive without you – there was a time when you weren’t there and that time will happen again when you leave.
- Throw pillows – learn to accept them even if you don’t understand them.
- Listen to your elders – follow the advice of people twenty or more years ahead of you (age or years experience in a field). They’ve seen enough to know what they’re talking about.
- Don’t be afraid to try something new – the worst that happens is it doesn’t work and you go back to doing the old thing again.
- You don’t have to die on every mountain – some battles just sap more energy than they’re worth winning.
- We landed on the moon – it was the one conspiracy theory I held on to the longest (17 – 24).
- People can change – but only if they’re willing to change. You can’t force it on them.
- You can respect a person without agreeing with them – some of my best conversations and friendships have come from people who think drastically different than I do.
- The world might end tomorrow – or twenty years from now, or two hundred years, or a thousand, or a billion. Stop worrying about it and do your best with the world we have right now.
- Embrace boredom – it took humanity tens of thousands of years to even come up with a concept called “boredom.” This is the most opportune time to do the hardest work of self-reflection and personal growth. Don’t be scared of it.
- Learn to say no – you have limitations and people will appreciate you more if they know your boundaries.
- The kids are all right – the next generation of young people are amazing and growing up during a paradigm shift in our history. All things considered, they’re embracing it and are incredibly more self-aware than we ever were.
- Focus is a superpower – if you can build it, there’s no stopping what you can accomplish.
- Define your level of success – learn how much is enough for you and use that as your metric instead of the outliers and top 1% in your field.
- Find a group – it wasn’t until a bunch of dads and I decided to get together once a month that we realized we’re not alone in our struggles and joys as partners and parents. Not only do we find support in each other, we’ve become better as a result.
- It’s the everyday moments that count – you don’t need to travel across the world to have a profound experience, nor do you need x,y or z to happen. Writing every day has taught me there is something about each day that can have an impact on us if we’re willing to dig deep and look for it.
I’m sure there are at least another thirty-five lessons I’ve learned on top of the ones listed here. In this current moment, in this season in my life, these are the ones that stand out the most.
In five years, I’ll be sure to let you know what I’ve learned after turning forty.
Heh – five years… seems like such a small jump in time at this point.