The past few months have been a serious time of reflection, as evidenced by the sheer silence on this site.

This reflection has been on the things in life that truly spark joy.

As I’ve discovered, the many things that used to fire me up and provide fulfillment, just aren’t. Maybe it’s this whole midlife crisis, but I look at the pile of hobbies and passions of mine with nothing more than a shrug.

A loss of interest, even.

This isn’t to say I’ve hit an emotional slump because I’ve never felt more emotionally stable or excited for the people around me.

However, I just look at my stack of books, writing spaces, movie lists… and have no desire to engage with any of it. A strong suggestion from a close friend suggested it’s time I look elsewhere, which isn’t a bad idea.

It took me a few months to realize what I really needed was to be creative again. I haven’t written, or created, anything in quite some time—to the point where even my wife noticed and asked about it.

As someone who was always thinking of the next project and creative outlet (whether for work or personal life), cutting that part out was a complete detriment to a big part of who I am.

The other realization was that my creative projects were always done with an external goal in mind. I never did something for the sake of personal satisfaction. It always for another purpose: monetary, validation, etc.

No wonder I grew tired of it.

In looking at the back burner (“unfinished business”), it also occurred to me that I can just abandon it to connect with something more personal. After all, even if I did go through my “back list” of projects, there will be nobody on the other end to congratulate me for completing them. Nobody notices and quite frankly, nobody cares, so why should I?

With all this recognition and reflection, it’s time to set a new course; one where I can simply enjoy the scenery along the way instead of focusing on what’s at the end.

And that right there gets me all fired up again.